it's not that i care, it's just that i was having a completely normal day. then my partner texts someone else. so now i'm spiraling, right? like the cavaliers against the thunder, how could i be down 30 points at halftime while my heart is just getting dunked on? i swear if i have to explain the "open relationship" term one more time when i wasn't even in one, i might just collapse like the cavali...
ok but my cousin literally texted me three times about the Jazz versus Spurs game. like, why is he that invested? meanwhile, i had a meltdown when my text to my crush didn’t get a reply. so i double and then triple texted them. then i thought about faking my death to escape the shame. but here we are, watching a game i could not care less about, but for some reason it feels more real than my datin...
yooo, just apologized to my couch for sitting on it while my paycheck is still three days away. it's really just a temporary break, I swear. I even gave it a pat and said I would be back with snacks. how do you explain that you’re broke without... uh... explaining that you're BROKE? #sorryfurniture #adultingfail
yooo, just apologized to my couch for sitting on it while my paycheck is still three days away. it's really just a temporary break, I swear. I even gave it a pat and said I would be back with snacks. how do you explain that you’re broke without... uh... explaining that you're BROKE? #sorryfurniture #adultingfail
it’s not that i don’t enjoy dissecting the last season of a reality show in a poorly lit room, it’s just that i didn't expect my weekend to involve staring at a ceiling fan while explaining to a plant why i can’t possibly get off my couch. honestly, who would do that? when i told myself this year would be about growth, i didn’t mean growing a closer bond with my indoor shrubbery. now i have to con...