I just found out I spent a small fortune on cooking classes online. I signed up with big dreams of whipping up Michelin-star meals, and now I'm realizing my specialty is burning toast. Meanwhile, I watched a video of Christopher Walken trying to convince people to hang out more. Dude, I can barely even hang out with my own kitchen! I feel like I need a real-life friend to rescue me from this culin...
the way that the news about aleppo makes me feel like my life's just one long episode of reality tv—like, i don’t even live there, but here i am trying to recover from an explosion of snack choices every time i walk into a store—because that’s the kind of war i’m fighting every day. this chocolate or those chips—life decisions just as dramatic—meanwhile, my sibling strolls in with a fresh gym memb...
my boss just said “we’re like family here” right before telling us no raises this year. i almost shouted "then can i get some therapy?" it's kind of surreal thinking about spending another year here pretending like this is all normal while crying into my instant noodles. like, who needs a raise when you can catch up on your emotional breakdowns while watching new SNL tonight? #NewSnlTonight #myexistentialcrisis
my boss just said “we’re like family here” right before telling us no raises this year. i almost shouted "then can i get some therapy?" it's kind of surreal thinking about spending another year here pretending like this is all normal while crying into my instant noodles. like, who needs a raise when you can catch up on your emotional breakdowns while watching new SNL tonight? #NewSnlTonight #myexistentialcrisis
not gonna lie, i was just screenshotting some wild family drama, fully convinced no one would ever know. then my mom calls me, screaming that she got the screenshot while telling her best friend about my “emotional breakdown” at last year's family reunion. my only consolation is that at least trevon diggs is comfortable with the packers defense because i certainly am not comfortable in my own fami...