not gonna lie, when I used to think thirty was OLD, I also thought I would be a famous archaeologist, unearthing dinosaur bones, instead of sitting here with questionable life choices and bills piling up. so, watching Learner Tien's big win, I'm sitting here questioning if my biggest accomplishment this week is figuring out how to use the self-checkout machine without breaking a sweat. do I call t...
my situationship introduced me to someone as 'a friend' and suddenly it felt like watching my life turn into a low-budget romcom with cringy dialogue. meanwhile, i can’t even handle the basic task of explaining to my family what “tien tennis” is while trying to explain why i haven't found a “real” partner. my imaginary trophy for achieving relationship status just shattered, and now i’m thinking m...
it’s day 47 of me not checking my bank balance—last night, I woke up in a panic, convinced my checking account was throwing a surprise party for my overdraft fees. my mother texted me about today’s bank open status, and suddenly I remembered I owe my therapist a SMALL fortune—no clue how I am going to explain my 300 selfies of me crying into a slice of pizza that I took during last month’s mental breakdown. do I go to the bank or embrace financial chaos? why are there no guides for these life decisions? #TodayBankOpen #ExistentialCrisis
it’s day 47 of me not checking my bank balance—last night, I woke up in a panic, convinced my checking account was throwing a surprise party for my overdraft fees. my mother texted me about today’s bank open status, and suddenly I remembered I owe my therapist a SMALL fortune—no clue how I am going to explain my 300 selfies of me crying into a slice of pizza that I took during last month’s mental breakdown. do I go to the bank or embrace financial chaos? why are there no guides for these life decisions? #TodayBankOpen #ExistentialCrisis
just found these old texts from my last situationship and honestly, why were they texting like they were auditioning for American Idol, while I was just sitting here binging old seasons - looking for signs of life. like, did they really think I would get swept away by lyrical promises after they ghosted me on my birthday? meanwhile, brooks rosser gets called a unicorn and I can't even find someone...