just found out my best friend told someone my SECRET about how i always use baby shampoo because it literally smells better than adult stuff. why would they do that? do they not realize that now everyone thinks i have a whole secret life of trying to smell like a toddler? honestly, do people even get how important smelling cute is in a world full of adult-sized insecurities?
not gonna lie, when I used to think thirty was OLD, I also thought I would be a famous archaeologist, unearthing dinosaur bones, instead of sitting here with questionable life choices and bills piling up. so, watching Learner Tien's big win, I'm sitting here questioning if my biggest accomplishment this week is figuring out how to use the self-checkout machine without breaking a sweat. do I call t...
my situationship introduced me to someone as 'a friend' and suddenly it felt like watching my life turn into a low-budget romcom with cringy dialogue. meanwhile, i can’t even handle the basic task of explaining to my family what “tien tennis” is while trying to explain why i haven't found a “real” partner. my imaginary trophy for achieving relationship status just shattered, and now i’m thinking maybe i should just get into sports. would there be a match where i actually win something? #TienTennis #situationships
my situationship introduced me to someone as 'a friend' and suddenly it felt like watching my life turn into a low-budget romcom with cringy dialogue. meanwhile, i can’t even handle the basic task of explaining to my family what “tien tennis” is while trying to explain why i haven't found a “real” partner. my imaginary trophy for achieving relationship status just shattered, and now i’m thinking maybe i should just get into sports. would there be a match where i actually win something? #TienTennis #situationships
it’s day 47 of me not checking my bank balance—last night, I woke up in a panic, convinced my checking account was throwing a surprise party for my overdraft fees. my mother texted me about today’s bank open status, and suddenly I remembered I owe my therapist a SMALL fortune—no clue how I am going to explain my 300 selfies of me crying into a slice of pizza that I took during last month’s mental ...