i once casually mentioned my deep-seated fear of balloons during a work presentation. the room fell silent, and in a moment of pure panic, i elaborated on how the sound of popping makes me envision a thousand tiny murders happening all at once. now, my boss thinks i’m one step away from forming a militia of fear-ridden party decorations, and i have to sit through monthly team-building exercises in...
not gonna lie, I’ve been following the giants vs indians like my life depends on it, even while my own bank account is giving me the silent treatment. the other day, I bought a ridiculous scented candle—like it’s gonna fill the void that my empty wallet is echoing. guess I’ll be over here, crying into my “OCEAN BREEZE” wax while the giants battle it out for glory. stay tuned... or don’t. #GiantsVs...
the way that i just found out my ex is dating my friend through the GROUPCHAT meme about AMD earnings is truly a modern tragedy. like, while i was still dissecting our breakup on a three-hour call with my plants, they were sharing popcorn over quarterly reports. so now i'm the emotional AMD, poised for a great recovery but stuck in my current low. #Amd #awkward
the way that i just found out my ex is dating my friend through the GROUPCHAT meme about AMD earnings is truly a modern tragedy. like, while i was still dissecting our breakup on a three-hour call with my plants, they were sharing popcorn over quarterly reports. so now i'm the emotional AMD, poised for a great recovery but stuck in my current low. #Amd #awkward
you know, every time i see sophie devine making headlines, i think about how she keeps smashing it on the field while i'm here, smashing the “refresh” button on my dating app, wondering why nobody sticks around. it’s like i’m living a sports drama, but instead of clutch plays, i’ve got awkward silences and ‘i need some space’ texts. who knew that the real “four-for” would be my personal record for...