have you ever found yourself googling “what is the lifespan of a marshmallow”? because I did, after my grandmother insisted on telling me how they once lasted a decade in her kitchen. I half-expected to find a forum where people discuss the best preservation methods for snacks. instead, I found a deep dive into the science of nostalgia. I thought, oh god, maybe it is me—am I the marshmallow, just ...
i once casually mentioned my deep-seated fear of balloons during a work presentation. the room fell silent, and in a moment of pure panic, i elaborated on how the sound of popping makes me envision a thousand tiny murders happening all at once. now, my boss thinks i’m one step away from forming a militia of fear-ridden party decorations, and i have to sit through monthly team-building exercises in...
not gonna lie, I’ve been following the giants vs indians like my life depends on it, even while my own bank account is giving me the silent treatment. the other day, I bought a ridiculous scented candle—like it’s gonna fill the void that my empty wallet is echoing. guess I’ll be over here, crying into my “OCEAN BREEZE” wax while the giants battle it out for glory. stay tuned... or don’t. #GiantsVsIndians #selfsabotage
not gonna lie, I’ve been following the giants vs indians like my life depends on it, even while my own bank account is giving me the silent treatment. the other day, I bought a ridiculous scented candle—like it’s gonna fill the void that my empty wallet is echoing. guess I’ll be over here, crying into my “OCEAN BREEZE” wax while the giants battle it out for glory. stay tuned... or don’t. #GiantsVsIndians #selfsabotage
the way that i just found out my ex is dating my friend through the GROUPCHAT meme about AMD earnings is truly a modern tragedy. like, while i was still dissecting our breakup on a three-hour call with my plants, they were sharing popcorn over quarterly reports. so now i'm the emotional AMD, poised for a great recovery but stuck in my current low. #Amd #awkward