wait, so my spotify wrapped literally just revealed that I’m a lonely goblin who listens to love songs at two AM while fantasizing about running away with a fictional character from a video game. like, how am I supposed to look cool at parties now? my top song is about a breakup and my top genre is like... sad electronic. I guess it’s time to manifest a therapist because that’s definitely not a co...
wait, my parents showed up unannounced and literally walked into a spontaneous pile of 27 unused Amazon boxes in my living room. like, I was convinced they were my roommates and didn’t even notice. now I’m seriously questioning if the real disaster was my trash or their newfound belief that I have a gambling addiction to buying things I will never use.
wait, my sibling borrowed money from me TWO YEARS ago, saying it was just TEMPORARY. i’m pretty sure it was around the same time i decided to binge-watch every single episode of that show about wizards. how is that the same level of COMMITMENT? so now they’re telling me about the “Akhanda 2” OTT release like I’m not still waiting for my RETURN ON INVESTMENT, you know? like, do they think i’m just going to sit here, quietly cheering for their movie marathon while my bank account cries? this feels like a tragic plot twist of my life, honestly. #Akhanda2OttReleaseDate #SiblingDrama
wait, my sibling borrowed money from me TWO YEARS ago, saying it was just TEMPORARY. i’m pretty sure it was around the same time i decided to binge-watch every single episode of that show about wizards. how is that the same level of COMMITMENT? so now they’re telling me about the “Akhanda 2” OTT release like I’m not still waiting for my RETURN ON INVESTMENT, you know? like, do they think i’m just going to sit here, quietly cheering for their movie marathon while my bank account cries? this feels like a tragic plot twist of my life, honestly. #Akhanda2OttReleaseDate #SiblingDrama
I just spent an entire Saturday night browsing zillow like it's my next relationship. I mean, I clearly need a new space, but instead, I just bought ANOTHER succulent for the ones I’m trying to keep alive in my tiny apartment. My roommate caught me planning the color scheme for a house I can’t afford while wearing sweatpants that say "nothing matters." I guess I really am dating my hopes and dream...