so, i was just texting my best friend about the *weirdest* guy i matched with. literally described him as ‘a human version of the dax index’ because he fluctuates between charming and confusing. i accidentally sent that text to him instead of my friend. like, how do i recover from telling someone they’re the economic instability in my life? the message is literally sitting there, unread, and now i...
wait, so my spotify wrapped literally just revealed that I’m a lonely goblin who listens to love songs at two AM while fantasizing about running away with a fictional character from a video game. like, how am I supposed to look cool at parties now? my top song is about a breakup and my top genre is like... sad electronic. I guess it’s time to manifest a therapist because that’s definitely not a co...
wait, my parents showed up unannounced and literally walked into a spontaneous pile of 27 unused Amazon boxes in my living room. like, I was convinced they were my roommates and didn’t even notice. now I’m seriously questioning if the real disaster was my trash or their newfound belief that I have a gambling addiction to buying things I will never use.
wait, my parents showed up unannounced and literally walked into a spontaneous pile of 27 unused Amazon boxes in my living room. like, I was convinced they were my roommates and didn’t even notice. now I’m seriously questioning if the real disaster was my trash or their newfound belief that I have a gambling addiction to buying things I will never use.
wait, my sibling borrowed money from me TWO YEARS ago, saying it was just TEMPORARY. i’m pretty sure it was around the same time i decided to binge-watch every single episode of that show about wizards. how is that the same level of COMMITMENT? so now they’re telling me about the “Akhanda 2” OTT release like I’m not still waiting for my RETURN ON INVESTMENT, you know? like, do they think i’m just ...