wait, so i found out my favorite snack has been sitting in my pantry this whole time. it has an expiration date from LAST YEAR. now i’m over here questioning all my choices like i should’ve been looking for love in a new chip flavor instead of chasing ghosts of people who wanted “space.” this is why i should definitely not do food blogs or relationships. my decision-making skills have the shelf li...
you ever sit down and think about how your life would be different if you just said yes instead of no? like, if I hadn’t skipped that family barbecue in favor of binge-watching tennessee basketball, I might actually know my cousins' names. instead, I’m over here still beefing with distant relatives I’ve never met, imagining they’re all plotting against me. turns out, life choices are just complica...
wait, so my parents were literally my age when they had like, careers, a house, and somehow managed to do taxes. i just spent thirty minutes figuring out how to microwave a burrito without it exploding. and now i'm staring at this news about bukele, wondering if that's the reason we all just avoid our responsibilities and like, scroll through memes instead. honestly, I should probably just call my mom and ask her how she did it. #Bukele #adulting
wait, so my parents were literally my age when they had like, careers, a house, and somehow managed to do taxes. i just spent thirty minutes figuring out how to microwave a burrito without it exploding. and now i'm staring at this news about bukele, wondering if that's the reason we all just avoid our responsibilities and like, scroll through memes instead. honestly, I should probably just call my mom and ask her how she did it. #Bukele #adulting
wait, my family keeps asking about my ex like they’re discussing their favorite celebrity chef. i heard them whispering the other day about how great he looked in that one wedding photo. here’s the thing: i found out he’s been secretly tattooing each ex's initials on his arm, and i’m convinced mine is written in invisible ink on his forehead.