literally spent an hour imagining a detailed heist scenario in my apartment. i was the mastermind, the snack thief, plotting with my toaster and a rubber duck. all this for a two-dollar candy bar. now my brain’s just sad and i still have to pay for groceries.
ever had one of those moments when you look in the mirror and see your parents staring back at you? i mean like, their actual expressions while making the same ridiculous face you just made when you found out you ate the last slice of pizza. also, i just KNOW they have been critiquing my outfit from afar this whole time. imagine my horror as they whisper, “that shirt doesn’t bring out your eyes,” ...
not gonna lie, just found out my crush is still dating their ex—while we’ve been having these deep talks like we were in a movie montage together. i even practiced telling them how much they mean to me while trying on a new outfit—yeah, that went well. then i saw a picture of them at a wedding last week, ALL smiles, like should i crash it and confront them? or—my mind just went to writing a song about betrayal... ugh. #HaileyBaptiste #drama
not gonna lie, just found out my crush is still dating their ex—while we’ve been having these deep talks like we were in a movie montage together. i even practiced telling them how much they mean to me while trying on a new outfit—yeah, that went well. then i saw a picture of them at a wedding last week, ALL smiles, like should i crash it and confront them? or—my mind just went to writing a song about betrayal... ugh. #HaileyBaptiste #drama
the way my mom casually asked when i’m having kids as if i haven’t spent the last six months debating the pros and cons of naming a cactus. like, no mom, i’m not nesting. i’m currently in a committed relationship with my couch, which gives zero opinions on child-rearing. it is just us, me and my favorite TV shows, plotting the details of my hypothetical family with an invisible partner who loves s...