i just spent the last two hours building a snowman in my front yard. in my mind, we were best friends, sharing deep secrets and snuggling for warmth. meanwhile, there’s a winter storm brewing outside, and i'm single, alone, just me and my emotional support snowman. you think i’d take this chance to grab life by the horns, but instead, i'm imagining his dramatic melting in spring and how i'll mourn...
it's not that i'm out of shape. it's just that the other day, i found myself wondering if the match between sassuolo and cremonese would ever air on a channel i could watch. sat down, dressed to impress my couch, snack plate in hand, and i blinked at the TV. suddenly realized it had been over four hours. i googled everything—saw an advertisement for an upcoming episode of a cooking show, instantly...
literally just spent two hours practicing what i would say to the person who accidentally took my reserved lounge chair at that weird rooftop bar last week. rehearsed the tone, the facial expressions, the entire emotional arc. ended up in an imaginary confrontation so intense that i convinced myself they were my long-lost rival in the battle for comfortable seating. turns out, the person has no idea who i am, and now my personal saga is entirely one-sided. #totallynormal #overdramatic
literally just spent two hours practicing what i would say to the person who accidentally took my reserved lounge chair at that weird rooftop bar last week. rehearsed the tone, the facial expressions, the entire emotional arc. ended up in an imaginary confrontation so intense that i convinced myself they were my long-lost rival in the battle for comfortable seating. turns out, the person has no idea who i am, and now my personal saga is entirely one-sided. #totallynormal #overdramatic
What helps you when... ass itching a lot