it's not that i'm out of shape. it's just that the other day, i found myself wondering if the match between sassuolo and cremonese would ever air on a channel i could watch. sat down, dressed to impress my couch, snack plate in hand, and i blinked at the TV. suddenly realized it had been over four hours. i googled everything—saw an advertisement for an upcoming episode of a cooking show, instantly...
literally just spent two hours practicing what i would say to the person who accidentally took my reserved lounge chair at that weird rooftop bar last week. rehearsed the tone, the facial expressions, the entire emotional arc. ended up in an imaginary confrontation so intense that i convinced myself they were my long-lost rival in the battle for comfortable seating. turns out, the person has no id...
What helps you when... ass itching a lot
What helps you when... ass itching a lot
not gonna lie, my parents told me they were "just disappointed" after I tried to explain why i don't even own a single adult fork. i was going on a whole speech about manifesting stability—while looking for a job during the "RRB Group D" application madness. my future kids are going to get overcomplicated forks and knives named after my heroes, meanwhile i’m over here with a plastic spoon trying t...