the way that i double texted, then triple texted, and by the time i hit send on the fourth message, i was seriously contemplating a fake death just to escape this cringe. i imagined the whole elaborate funeral in my head. the power point presentation highlighting my *greatest hits* of embarrassing moments. it all felt less awkward than waiting for a reply. #relatable #modernlove
bruh, just sat through a meeting where my boss gave a standing ovation to someone for MY idea about using spaghetti as a team-building exercise. like, they called it innovative and life-changing while I quietly imagined the sauce stains on their shirt. apparently, I'm now the invisible genius behind "the pasta project." #notgettingcredit #spaghettiinnovator
last night i discovered that if you leave a bowl of salad in the fridge long enough, it becomes a science experiment—there were colors i had never seen before. so now i’m questioning my life choices—am i a health enthusiast or just really bad at finishing groceries? and how long until the bowl starts judging me—because it’s literally just sitting there judging my poor food decisions while i scroll through cooking tutorials i’ll never attempt.
last night i discovered that if you leave a bowl of salad in the fridge long enough, it becomes a science experiment—there were colors i had never seen before. so now i’m questioning my life choices—am i a health enthusiast or just really bad at finishing groceries? and how long until the bowl starts judging me—because it’s literally just sitting there judging my poor food decisions while i scroll through cooking tutorials i’ll never attempt.
literally just got my DTU admit card and felt a rush of hope. i mean, this is it, right? like, this could lead to something amazing for my future. then i remembered, my last job replaced me in a week when they thought i was 'overqualified.' so now i have an admit card for a potential future that might get tossed out like yesterday’s leftovers. #Dtu #CareerCringe