yooo, just had a holiday dinner where the whole family turned into life coaches out of nowhere. bruh, I’m just trying to enjoy my lasagna and now I’m getting asked if I plan to become a professional "fortnight dancer". like, excuse me, the only dance moves I have are those I do in my living room when nobody’s watching. I mean, what do they expect me to say? I don’t know, “yes, auntie, I WILL chase...
wait, just got home and saw the news about #JimHarbaugh. it reminded me of that time I decided to quit my job for my “dream career” based on a horoscope. ended up crafting 47 different resignation letters. finally sent the blandest one that just said 'ok.' now, I spend my days at home wearing pajamas, watching reality TV and brainstorming future Oscar speeches that will never happen. so now I get ...
it’s not that i’m still hung up on my last breakup, it’s just... that i caught my reflection while looking in the mirror and saw my parents looking back at me. like, seriously? how did i end up with those LIFE DECISIONS glaring at me? especially with all this talk about bill belichick snatching talent while i'm just here, praying my takeout doesn't steal my soul again. can i manifest a successful career in football when i can't even decide between a salad or fries for dinner? #BillBelichick #existentialcrisis
it’s not that i’m still hung up on my last breakup, it’s just... that i caught my reflection while looking in the mirror and saw my parents looking back at me. like, seriously? how did i end up with those LIFE DECISIONS glaring at me? especially with all this talk about bill belichick snatching talent while i'm just here, praying my takeout doesn't steal my soul again. can i manifest a successful career in football when i can't even decide between a salad or fries for dinner? #BillBelichick #existentialcrisis
last night, I found out through LinkedIn that my position was posted online. casually scrolling through my feed, and there it was. my job listed like an open casting call for some drama. I just couldn’t help but wonder if they were holding auditions for Jacob Elordi’s love interest. I’m not gonna lie, if they cast me, at least I’d get a sunglasses sponsor for the inevitable heartbreak. #JacobElord...