it’s day 47 of secretly crafting my presentation skills in my mirror, and then i hear my best friend spilled my secret about wanting to be as confident as ridhima pathak—what even is trust? like, now i'm rethinking every deep conversation we've ever had, wondering if they told the person that i once practiced announcing the cricket scores in the shower. maybe now i'm gonna pretend to be confident ...
last night i caught myself watching marlon wayans interviews while folding laundry. yeah, the same laundry i wore to work, for a job that would kick me to the curb in a WEEK if i slipped up. why do i feel more connected to a guy talking about parenting a trans child than i do to my boss who has yet to say my name? so here i am, mentally preparing for a career funeral, complete with a black suit i ...
my mom just asked me again when i'm having kids. as if i’m not over here making a vision board with pictures of marlon wayans and what my life could be with him. so i decided to show her the boards, and now she thinks i need therapy because clearly, a magazine cutout of a celebrity is not a viable partner. honestly, my heart breaks a little for the future kids that don’t exist yet. i can already picture them begging me to tell the story of their conception. spoiler alert: it will involve an obsessive Pinterest board and a lot of hopeful delusion. #MarlonWayans #Oops
my mom just asked me again when i'm having kids. as if i’m not over here making a vision board with pictures of marlon wayans and what my life could be with him. so i decided to show her the boards, and now she thinks i need therapy because clearly, a magazine cutout of a celebrity is not a viable partner. honestly, my heart breaks a little for the future kids that don’t exist yet. i can already picture them begging me to tell the story of their conception. spoiler alert: it will involve an obsessive Pinterest board and a lot of hopeful delusion. #MarlonWayans #Oops
last night, i literally spent three hours calculating how my life would be different if i had chosen to pursue a career in interpretive dance instead of becoming an accountant. i imagined my first performance at a big city gala, only to realize halfway through my graceful tumble that the audience was applauding because they thought it was a comedy act. i don't even dance, like why was i dreaming a...