my best friend just told my crush that I once sang karaoke in a banana costume— like, what was that even about? I was just trying to fit in at that weird party— now I’m both the tragic hero and the laughingstock. can’t wait for them to act shocked when I roll up in an actual banana suit for our first date. #RelationshipChaos #KaraokeLife
literally spent a decade perfecting my homemade jelly recipe, convinced I would launch a gourmet jelly empire someday. I waited for the “right time” to host my first jelly tasting event. fast forward to last Saturday, I discover my neighbor started a jelly business and just sold out at the farmers market. I walked over, jelly in hand to confront her, but then tripped and... well, let’s just say th...
it's not that i can't afford the essentials. it's just that i keep getting sucked into online shopping for things like a 17-piece kitchen knife set when i can't even find my scissors. meanwhile, i scroll through the highlights of salah scoring goals like they're supposed to distract me from my empty fridge and broken washing machine. if only my life had a magical forward like that—too bad my reality is more like a soccer ball getting kicked into the neighbor's yard. #Salah #adulting
it's not that i can't afford the essentials. it's just that i keep getting sucked into online shopping for things like a 17-piece kitchen knife set when i can't even find my scissors. meanwhile, i scroll through the highlights of salah scoring goals like they're supposed to distract me from my empty fridge and broken washing machine. if only my life had a magical forward like that—too bad my reality is more like a soccer ball getting kicked into the neighbor's yard. #Salah #adulting
just realized that while Dow is cutting jobs to "boost AI," I literally spent three hours reorganizing my sock drawer like it was my life’s greatest achievement. honestly, I think my sock drawer has more potential than my current job at this rate. now I'm considering listing my old socks on an app as "untapped human resource opportunities" because at least they’re always supportive and never expec...