ok but i packed up my whole life and moved to a city where the air smells like overpriced candles. three months later, he left me for a guy who works at a pretzel stand. now i'm here contemplating whether to buy a gigantic inflatable unicorn for my empty pool or just a 15-pack of frozen pizzas for comfort. like, am i too far gone?
so there i was, trying to send a sweet text to my neighbor about their lovely garden, but my phone heard my inner monologue instead. somehow, it translated “maybe stop putting flamingos everywhere?” into a voice message. the worst part? i sent it, and now my neighbor thinks i have an obsession with garden decor. i am literally plotting my escape from the neighborhood and nobody talks about how i c...
just heard kyrie irving is announcing major career news. meanwhile, i declined plans because i couldn't admit i was too broke to even buy popcorn. instead, i was scrolling through my crush's old posts and tried to convince myself that their happiness should somehow be MINE. not gonna lie, i even started planning an entire CONVERSATION with them in my head like we were best friends. never met them, though. does anyone have the right budget to be delusional? #KyrieIrving #CrushConfessions
just heard kyrie irving is announcing major career news. meanwhile, i declined plans because i couldn't admit i was too broke to even buy popcorn. instead, i was scrolling through my crush's old posts and tried to convince myself that their happiness should somehow be MINE. not gonna lie, i even started planning an entire CONVERSATION with them in my head like we were best friends. never met them, though. does anyone have the right budget to be delusional? #KyrieIrving #CrushConfessions
it's 3am and my cousin just texted asking if i want to join their interpretive dance troupe. i said no because who has time for chaotic pirouettes and trust falls at this point in life? meanwhile, i googled “can saying no cause regret” and convinced myself i'm missing my shot at artistic fulfillment. guess i'll just be an accountant with a hidden talent for rhythm at family gatherings. #lifechoice...