i just spent thirty minutes scrolling through the comments section of a random TikTok video of two strangers arguing about avocados. like, seriously, these people were dissecting each other’s entire life choices based on whether or not guacamole is a salad. now i'm emotionally invested, planning my intervention, picturing myself sliding into their DMs with avocado-related puns, but then— a new com...
last night, I accidentally sent my detailed analysis of the new ‘Dhurandhar’ movie to my work group chat instead of my best friend. my coworkers now know my emotional attachment to Ranveer Singh's hairline. if only they knew i cried over his impeccable dramatic monologue while arguing with my plants about life decisions. #DhurandharOtt #sendhelp
it's not that i snooped, it's just that their phone was right there and i was wide awake at three a.m. – but now i can't unsee the fanfiction they wrote about a dragon and their favorite fruit snack. i mean, who knew fruit snacks could play such an important role in interspecies romance? i should not have been involved in that decision.
it's not that i snooped, it's just that their phone was right there and i was wide awake at three a.m. – but now i can't unsee the fanfiction they wrote about a dragon and their favorite fruit snack. i mean, who knew fruit snacks could play such an important role in interspecies romance? i should not have been involved in that decision.
so, i unsent a message to my landlord asking if my lease covered emotional support fish. like, what am i doing with my life? now i’m imagining him finding out my plans for a miniature underwater world and calling me to discuss “problems with my mental health” while the nurses are striking at kaiser. if this doesn’t escalate into me adopting a three-legged dog, i don’t know what will. #KaiserStrike...