just realized my friend group picked sides in the “who can fold a fitted sheet” competition. i thought i was a contender. turns out, i’m the ONLY one who rolls it into a ball and shoves it in a closet. as i was sitting on the floor, surrounded by everyone’s perfectly folded sheets, i could not help but think... this is the saddest, most relatable moment of my life.
ok but just heard about Wrexham possibly getting promoted. it hit me harder than the time i thought my plant was thriving, only to discover it was actually dead for weeks. now i’m questioning my entire existence, while i sit here contemplating if anyone will ever realize i also deserve a little promotion in life. #WrexhamStandings #existentialcrisis
it’s not that i miss my ex, it’s just that my family keeps mentioning him like he’s some sort of long-lost golden retriever. every time they bring him up, i have to laugh awkwardly while my brain is spiraling through the seven stages of grief over a taco bell order gone wrong from two years ago. honestly, i just hope they don’t notice my unending obsession with naming the sandwich from the new deli after my future children… would be weird if they found out about that…
it’s not that i miss my ex, it’s just that my family keeps mentioning him like he’s some sort of long-lost golden retriever. every time they bring him up, i have to laugh awkwardly while my brain is spiraling through the seven stages of grief over a taco bell order gone wrong from two years ago. honestly, i just hope they don’t notice my unending obsession with naming the sandwich from the new deli after my future children… would be weird if they found out about that…
it's not that i obsess over someone who definitely isn’t thinking about me. it’s just that i accidentally Googled their middle name while crying into my pillow at 3am, which spiraled into researching how many states they have lived in. turns out, my search history now resembles a CIA dossier. meanwhile, the only thing i have in common with them is my existential dread about bills piling up. so tha...