do you ever look in the mirror and feel like your reflection is plotting against you? i swear, every time i catch a glimpse, it’s like i’m staring into a crystal ball revealing every bad choice i ever made. honestly, my reflection looks like it's judging me for that time i tried to become a "fitness influencer" and ended up downing an entire pizza while filming a workout video. so there i am, conf...
not gonna lie, i somehow found myself in a mentorship role. me. the person who almost failed adulting 101. my mentee asks me questions like "what is your secret to success?" and i freeze. why did no one prepare me for this? i’m like Faf du Plessis giving a TED talk about hitting sixes, but I can barely make it through a meeting without spilling my drink. they deserve better. should i just give the...
last night, I discovered I have twenty-three photos of my neighbor's garden gnomes. I don’t know why I took them. Honestly, there are literal close-ups and some of the gnomes are in bizarre poses, like they're plotting something sinister. If anyone ever sees these, I might be charged with gnome harassment.
last night, I discovered I have twenty-three photos of my neighbor's garden gnomes. I don’t know why I took them. Honestly, there are literal close-ups and some of the gnomes are in bizarre poses, like they're plotting something sinister. If anyone ever sees these, I might be charged with gnome harassment.
just found out my parents are getting a divorce and somehow, they BOTH want me to help pick out their new couches - like i have a degree in interior design when all i know is how to sit in awkward silence between two people who don’t want to be in the same room together - honestly, where’s the instruction manual for THIS? #unexpectedroles #divorceanddecor