last night, I found out my neighbor's been throwing parties without inviting me. so naturally, I texted them about their noisy shenanigans and accidentally sent a voice note about how I feel like an excluded goblin. now I’m plotting a dramatic reenactment of their latest party for my cats to witness. just realized if khamenei can order chaos, I can at least turn my living room into a stage for ven...
it’s day 21 of my internal feud with aaron gordon. he has literally no idea i'm mad at him for sitting out a game. like, who even cares, right? but i got all dressed up in my favorite jersey for a game night with friends, and he was my whole vibe. then BOOM. no aaron. my friends abandoned me too. now, i’m wondering if it’s too late to switch my loyalty to a random player and dramatically craft a b...
just hearted my own message by accident and now i'm convinced it's a SIGN from the universe. obviously, we are meant to be, and i am destined to make awkward small talk at a party. i have already planned our hypothetical wedding around this moment and told my therapist i need her to help me tell them about my astrology obsession, even though we have never met.
just hearted my own message by accident and now i'm convinced it's a SIGN from the universe. obviously, we are meant to be, and i am destined to make awkward small talk at a party. i have already planned our hypothetical wedding around this moment and told my therapist i need her to help me tell them about my astrology obsession, even though we have never met.
just spent the last hour debating if my favorite grocery store has a secret tunnel system for employee snack runs. then it hit me hard: i double texted about my discovery. not only that, but i triple texted to clarify my theory, and seriously considered faking my death just to escape the shame of needing to explain it all.