the way that I finally organized my sock drawer, thinking that was the adulting victory of the year, only to find out my partner’s been texting someone else like they’re plotting to steal my ice cream stash. like, do they think i won’t notice? as if it’s not the most unspoken rule that the ONLY person allowed to text in our house is the DELIVERY DRIVER. #JudgeTrump #SockDrawerDisaster
i just got my screen time report and it’s honestly a cry for help. hours and HOURS staring at my phone, just refreshing the same cat meme account like it’s my job. the wildest part? i wasn’t even using it for social media, i was watching videos on how to tie the perfect bowtie. for a dinner i’m never going to! so here i am, watching imaginary bowties get tied, while my social life unravels.
it's day 18 of using my special “give them a second chance” mug. like, i really thought it was magic. but instead of using it for me, they just put someone else's name on it, all while i was two feet away - yes, TWO FEET. now my mug has more romantic prospects than i do, and it has never felt so UNFAIR - who knew dishware could be a better partner?
it's day 18 of using my special “give them a second chance” mug. like, i really thought it was magic. but instead of using it for me, they just put someone else's name on it, all while i was two feet away - yes, TWO FEET. now my mug has more romantic prospects than i do, and it has never felt so UNFAIR - who knew dishware could be a better partner?
last night, i had to decline plans to go out—after binge-watching too many episodes of a reality show that reminded me of my life, i just couldn’t admit it was because my bank account is more empty than my dating prospects. meanwhile, scooting around in circles in my head like some misguided hamster, i thought about how people like scooter braun can set expectations sky high while i can’t even aff...