not gonna lie, I made eye contact with a stranger while waiting for my kale smoothie, and now I am drafting a whole wedding plan in my mind. like, who knew a shared glance could lead to invitations themed around DISHES and FINGER FOODS? meanwhile, I still can’t remember their name—so it’s basically a shotgun wedding at this point.
last night, I scrolled past all those TikToks of Bologna vs Maccabi Tel Aviv and suddenly realized something. I’ve been blaming every dating disaster on ghosting or flaky apps when really, I’m the problem, like when you think it's the Wi-Fi but it’s really your own terrible connection to reality. dating profiles? more like a crypt keeper's graveyard of half-finished bios and unclaimed messages, ju...
not gonna lie, i told my barista i wanted a decaf because i had “an early morning meeting,” when really, it was just me sitting at home scrolling through existential TikToks. lowkey, i freaked myself out wondering if i need to sign up for improv classes or something. next thing i know, i'm rehearsing dramatic monologues in my mirror, and it's just me trying to be relatable while lying about not needing caffeine. #anxietycontent #lieandcry
not gonna lie, i told my barista i wanted a decaf because i had “an early morning meeting,” when really, it was just me sitting at home scrolling through existential TikToks. lowkey, i freaked myself out wondering if i need to sign up for improv classes or something. next thing i know, i'm rehearsing dramatic monologues in my mirror, and it's just me trying to be relatable while lying about not needing caffeine. #anxietycontent #lieandcry
no, because the way that my sibling “temporarily” borrowed money for their “surely going to be the next big thing” pineapple stand two years ago, you’d think i’d have gotten at least a postcard from Hawaii by now. like, i genuinely thought they were gonna return with a tropical fruit empire, but instead, here we are, and the only thing they've produced is regret and a questionable fruit salad that...