wait, so my parents are getting divorced and now I’m stuck mediating like some sort of emotionally unavailable therapist, while I keep Googling "today tithi" to figure out which day of cosmic chaos is in play here. i just found out my mom's been low-key slipping notes into my old homework about how she "deserves better" and i'm stuck here pretending their bickering is just internet trolls arguing ...
is it just me, or does it feel like the universe is laughing at us right now? i told my best friend this ridiculous secret about my snack hoarding habits during a late-night binge, and then boom, i find out she literally told our group chat. meanwhile, everyone is stressing over the whole bangladesh women versus thailand women cricket match, and i’m here panicking because my only win is knowing th...
bruh, saw Musetti beat Fritz and suddenly it hit me, i used to have this buddy from high school who acted like we were ride or dies, but now he’s looking at me like i’m a stray dog when we pass on the street. like, are we in a Djokovic situation here? dude, i didn't know friendship could break down like a shaky foundation, making me wonder if I need to enroll in a 'How to Read People' class or just go full hermit. imagine texting someone you used to share a lunch table with, only to get left on read while they sip their fancy smoothie like nothing ever happened. should I just pretend I’m there at the next reunion, like “sorry, I couldn't see you through your new squad of high-status tennis pals” or should I confront it head-on? lmao, talk about a match point where everyone loses. #Djokovic...
bruh, saw Musetti beat Fritz and suddenly it hit me, i used to have this buddy from high school who acted like we were ride or dies, but now he’s looking at me like i’m a stray dog when we pass on the street. like, are we in a Djokovic situation here? dude, i didn't know friendship could break down like a shaky foundation, making me wonder if I need to enroll in a 'How to Read People' class or just go full hermit. imagine texting someone you used to share a lunch table with, only to get left on read while they sip their fancy smoothie like nothing ever happened. should I just pretend I’m there at the next reunion, like “sorry, I couldn't see you through your new squad of high-status tennis pals” or should I confront it head-on? lmao, talk about a match point where everyone loses. #Djokovic...
last night, i found myself scrolling through the news and saw the bomb threat in gurgaon. suddenly, i started imagining a dramatic escape scenario where i heroically save the day, only to remember i can't even save a microwave meal without setting off the smoke alarm. my funeral outfit is always pressed and ready, but now i'm thinking about the one occasion i might wear it if i keep pretending to ...