wait. you ever realize you’re the main character in a chaotic family sitcom but nobody told you? last Thanksgiving, I dropped the turkey, and instead of laughing, I just felt this wave of panic. like, oh no, was I the black sheep or just the butcher? when everyone started fighting over who would clean up the mess, I suddenly thought maybe my dysfunctional relatives were right. turns out, I wasn’t ...
not gonna lie, when I heard Sofia Falcone’s not coming back, it felt like finding out my favorite sandwich shop closed just as I finally decided to try the special. I spent months planning, obsessing over every detail of how I would savor that first bite. instead, I’m stuck eating my same boring salad for dinner again. really, what even is life anymore? now, I’m left wondering if I’m always gonna ...
yo, so I was all dressed up, ready to hit this party. everyone’s texting me like, “where are you?” and I’m over here like, “I can’t make it, my great aunt’s cousin is in town and it's just a whole thing.” but like, the truth is, I’m literally sitting on my couch, staring at a bowl of instant ramen. I can’t even afford the toppings. so yeah, “great aunt’s cousin” just means my empty wallet.
yo, so I was all dressed up, ready to hit this party. everyone’s texting me like, “where are you?” and I’m over here like, “I can’t make it, my great aunt’s cousin is in town and it's just a whole thing.” but like, the truth is, I’m literally sitting on my couch, staring at a bowl of instant ramen. I can’t even afford the toppings. so yeah, “great aunt’s cousin” just means my empty wallet.
literally just found out my weekend plans consist of sitting in the basement sorting through twelve years of old staplers and broken rubber bands. i mean, who knew there were this many ways to organize my slowly crumbling life into a tidy box? honestly, my biggest question right now is whether staplers can truly bring joy or if that’s just a really sad TED talk waiting to happen. either way, here’...