just found out my friends think i'm the equivalent of the Cavaliers when facing the Thunder—hopeless and perpetually behind. meanwhile, i tried to show them the coolest playlist i made just for us, but they laughed and said it was like a warm-up song nobody asked for. they might be right though, because last week, i got stuck in an elevator alone, contemplating my existence while they waited for m...
wait, you ever realize you’ve been mentally scripting your rebuttals for an argument about cat toys with a friend who doesn’t even own a cat? the wild part is, i keep flipping through the imaginary dialogue like a dramatic screenplay, even though we both just awkwardly stared at that $300 cat tree the whole time. #overthinking #argumentsinsidemyhead
last night I found myself creating an entire narrative of my future fights in the octagon as if I could be in the UFC. rehearsing my "I keep it on the feet" line for my imaginary promo while realizing I haven’t even resolved the laundry that's been on my floor for two weeks. just me, a UFC championship belt, and no clue how to handle a plain old Tuesday. #Ufc #ProcrastinationIsTheRealFight
last night I found myself creating an entire narrative of my future fights in the octagon as if I could be in the UFC. rehearsing my "I keep it on the feet" line for my imaginary promo while realizing I haven’t even resolved the laundry that's been on my floor for two weeks. just me, a UFC championship belt, and no clue how to handle a plain old Tuesday. #Ufc #ProcrastinationIsTheRealFight
it's two in the afternoon and i just discovered the office microwave has a secret "time travel" setting. the remaining five of us who survived the layoffs decided to experiment. why eat leftovers now when you could pop them into a portal of despair and forget how empty the breakroom feels? now i’m a culinary physicist, and my workload has doubled faster than the time it takes for my heart to sink ...