the way that i just remembered i was supposed to write a three-page paper on the emotional life of gerbils that was due LAST MONTH and thought “oh my god, this is the exact kind of chaotic energy i always knew i possessed.” like, who even signs up for gerbil research in the first place? and here i am, caught in a tragic love story between me and a pile of unturned pages.
wait—just found out Camila Osorio made headlines. here i am, waiting for the right time to text the cute person at the gym for a MONTH— but they just signed a contract to become a professional cup-stacker. so now— i guess i am just stuck obsessing over whether their gold medal stack could ever compete with my dream of a relationship that never even started. #CamilaOsorio #relatablecringe
not gonna lie, I realized I’m basically just pretending to be an adult while binge-watching tennis matches between Ben Shelton and Casper Ruud instead of paying my bills. last week I put my hand on my heart and promised myself I'd be responsible. then I ended up in a heated debate with my toaster about whether it's fair that it gets to toast bread while I microwave instant noodles like a college dropout. now I’m calculating the odds of going back to being a kid while pretending my life doesn’t look like a series of missed payments. but then again, who am I to judge when Casper Ruud might have a secret pep talk routine before every match? the real mystery is if I’ll have enough energy to face the reality of being an adult today. #BenSheltonVsCasperRuud #RelatableStruggles
not gonna lie, I realized I’m basically just pretending to be an adult while binge-watching tennis matches between Ben Shelton and Casper Ruud instead of paying my bills. last week I put my hand on my heart and promised myself I'd be responsible. then I ended up in a heated debate with my toaster about whether it's fair that it gets to toast bread while I microwave instant noodles like a college dropout. now I’m calculating the odds of going back to being a kid while pretending my life doesn’t look like a series of missed payments. but then again, who am I to judge when Casper Ruud might have a secret pep talk routine before every match? the real mystery is if I’ll have enough energy to face the reality of being an adult today. #BenSheltonVsCasperRuud #RelatableStruggles
i just spent fifteen minutes crafting a heartfelt breakup text to my ceramic frog collection, explaining how their presence isn’t bringing me joy anymore. they replied with a single word: “ok.” now i’m convinced they are judging my entire life choices from the shelf. #ceramicconfessions #existentialfrogs