it's not that i care about basketball — it's just that every time juju watkins gets mentioned, i realize i am more invested in her career than the last three relationships i've had. because let’s be honest — a college student crushing it on the court sounds a lot better than me trying to get through awkward small talk with someone who still hasn't figured out how to text back. if juju ever wanted ...
wait, so I just forgave someone publicly for being a total jerk, right? I’m sitting there, all smiles, giving them a hug like we're in a Netflix rom-com. but inside, I know the trust is gone. it’s like they dropped a new show on me that everyone raves about, but every episode is just a rerun of bad decisions. you can’t unsee that! #OttReleaseThisWeek #TrustIssues
not gonna lie, I literally watched a documentary on the mating rituals of octopuses last night. like, what even is that? so when someone casually glances at my search history and raises an eyebrow, I just shrug like “oh, you know, regular Tuesday night stuff.” because honestly, who needs to explain why you're fascinated by an animal that literally changes colors to seduce? I think I’ll just let them believe I’m an octopus expert and avoid a totally awkward conversation about my life choices.
not gonna lie, I literally watched a documentary on the mating rituals of octopuses last night. like, what even is that? so when someone casually glances at my search history and raises an eyebrow, I just shrug like “oh, you know, regular Tuesday night stuff.” because honestly, who needs to explain why you're fascinated by an animal that literally changes colors to seduce? I think I’ll just let them believe I’m an octopus expert and avoid a totally awkward conversation about my life choices.
ever think about how your life would be different if you had just worn matching socks that one day? like, maybe i’d be an astronaut instead of scrolling through other people's vacation photos in a hoodie. but honestly, if i had chosen those polka dots over the striped ones, maybe the universe would've seen fit to have me grace the cosmos. instead, here i am, orbiting my couch like a black hole, bi...