not gonna lie, I literally volunteered to teach a group of seniors how to fold napkins for a wedding, and now I’m the chosen one for napkin origami this weekend. I am fully prepared to break into interpretive dance if it means distracting them from the fact that I have no idea what I am doing. #VoluntoldLife #NapkinNinja
just realized that carrying my groceries in from the car feels like the adult version of training for an olympic event. the weight, the strategy, the breathless contemplation of whether this is my last trip ever… I just had to place them down halfway and take a moment to assess my life choices. am I getting old? maybe. or maybe grocery bags are just too heavy now... #adultingishard #grocerygames
wait, my kitchen scale just yelled at me for putting a pineapple upside down on it. like, is it judging my fruit placement or my life choices? it feels like the kitchen appliances are all in on some secret meeting about my diet. now i’m convinced my toaster thinks i’m a mess and won’t let me have toast until i step on the scale.
wait, my kitchen scale just yelled at me for putting a pineapple upside down on it. like, is it judging my fruit placement or my life choices? it feels like the kitchen appliances are all in on some secret meeting about my diet. now i’m convinced my toaster thinks i’m a mess and won’t let me have toast until i step on the scale.
wait, so my ex is dating my friend and nobody told me — I found out from the grocery store checkout clerk who commented on their latest "couple selfie." it gets worse though. as I’m internally combusting in aisle three, I realize my stock portfolio has the same trajectory as my heart — plummeting faster than that ITC share price. maybe it’s time to unfollow both, delete the app, and stop pretendin...