not gonna lie, i thought turning thirty was like entering a retirement home, but here i am, in a toxic job where my coffee machine is literally the only thing that keeps me sane. i just found out tcu took down a team they shouldn’t have, and meanwhile, my boss literally couldn’t keep a plant alive. i swear the real competition is who can endure this misery longer. it's either me or the dead succul...
not gonna lie, I literally volunteered to teach a group of seniors how to fold napkins for a wedding, and now I’m the chosen one for napkin origami this weekend. I am fully prepared to break into interpretive dance if it means distracting them from the fact that I have no idea what I am doing. #VoluntoldLife #NapkinNinja
just realized that carrying my groceries in from the car feels like the adult version of training for an olympic event. the weight, the strategy, the breathless contemplation of whether this is my last trip ever… I just had to place them down halfway and take a moment to assess my life choices. am I getting old? maybe. or maybe grocery bags are just too heavy now... #adultingishard #grocerygames
just realized that carrying my groceries in from the car feels like the adult version of training for an olympic event. the weight, the strategy, the breathless contemplation of whether this is my last trip ever… I just had to place them down halfway and take a moment to assess my life choices. am I getting old? maybe. or maybe grocery bags are just too heavy now... #adultingishard #grocerygames
wait, my kitchen scale just yelled at me for putting a pineapple upside down on it. like, is it judging my fruit placement or my life choices? it feels like the kitchen appliances are all in on some secret meeting about my diet. now i’m convinced my toaster thinks i’m a mess and won’t let me have toast until i step on the scale.