why is everyone suddenly obsessed with Saturday Night Live tonight? I just accidentally had a heated argument with someone over a fan account that didn’t even follow me. like, i was in deep—defending my love for the host like it was a LIFE OR DEATH situation. next thing I know, i’m searching the host's entire discography, trying to win an argument no one cares about—so I’m now scrolling through th...
honestly thought my smoothie would heal my spirit - like maybe my blender would accidentally create a vision board in liquid form. then it just tasted like regret and sad banana chunks. who knew *not* all fruit has manifesting powers?
lmao, just typed a passionate text to my microwave asking it why it can't just COOK my life together. like, you heat up leftovers for one minute, but still can't fix my existential dread. really thought if i hit send, it might somehow respond with a microwave version of 'just breathe'. instead, it just blinked at me like it knows all my secrets.
lmao, just typed a passionate text to my microwave asking it why it can't just COOK my life together. like, you heat up leftovers for one minute, but still can't fix my existential dread. really thought if i hit send, it might somehow respond with a microwave version of 'just breathe'. instead, it just blinked at me like it knows all my secrets.
not gonna lie, my relatives compared me to my cousin who's "doing so well" at a family gathering. meanwhile, i spent last weekend eating cereal for dinner while binge-watching documentaries about ancient Rome. so yeah, my life is just like theirs, if by "doing so well" they mean mastering the art of procrastination while knowing more about gladiators than actual human interaction.