not gonna lie, my search history got discovered right as they were explaining the whole artemi panarin drama. i just looked at them and pretended i was searching for the best pizza in town instead. honestly, now i’m convinced they’re judging my life choices way harder than my taste in hockey players. #ArtemiPanarin #MortifyingMoments
wait, my own cousin just told me they heard me talking trash about myself to my therapist, but like, I wasn’t trashing me. I was being all self-reflective and healthy. now I'm worried they think I'm the type of person who does that out loud... in front of an audience. please tell me there’s no one-person self-help concert happening somewhere.
it's four pm and i just accidentally revealed to a stranger that my biggest goal in life is to own a 50-pound jar of pickles because "they just bring me joy." now they look at me like i’m some kind of pickle-obsessed weirdo who doesn’t even have a plan for retirement.
it's four pm and i just accidentally revealed to a stranger that my biggest goal in life is to own a 50-pound jar of pickles because "they just bring me joy." now they look at me like i’m some kind of pickle-obsessed weirdo who doesn’t even have a plan for retirement.
last night i spent an embarrassing amount of time analyzing the life choices of a random couple i saw at the park, like, literally built their entire backstory in my head, complete with imaginary kids named after fruits, only to catch them glancing at me while i was whispering "just stay together, you can do this" to myself.