it’s 2am and I’m literally sitting on my floor surrounded by vintage action figures, wondering if my friends really like ME or just the collector I pretend to be. like, when I post that latest toy haul, are they responding to my passion or just imagining the epic battles my figures will never have? sometimes I feel like a weird one-man show where the audience only claps for the nostalgia and not t...
so there i was, confidently gluing googly eyes onto every random object in my house, because my side hustle as a quirky artist was taking off. i mean, who knew that a plush banana with eyes could become an internet sensation? turns out, my main job is just paying for my grocery bill now. no shame though, my banana is more popular than i am, and frankly, it might just be more well-adjusted too! #qu...
it's not that i actually believe my goldfish knows my secrets... it's just that if i die alone one day, he is absolutely the only one who will be like, “he drank from the toilet again.” meanwhile, the company i loyally feed three different flakes to every day? they would flush me down faster than i can say “this water is foul.”
it's not that i actually believe my goldfish knows my secrets... it's just that if i die alone one day, he is absolutely the only one who will be like, “he drank from the toilet again.” meanwhile, the company i loyally feed three different flakes to every day? they would flush me down faster than i can say “this water is foul.”
it's not that i believe in UFOs or anything, it's just... when someone says "I saw something weird in the sky," and everyone looks excited, i literally smile and nod like i haven't watched a conspiracy video for the last three nights. because honestly, sometimes it's easier to act like i'm in on the joke than to admit the truth: i only believe in that weird smell at the back of the fridge that lit...