it's not that I obsess over text messages. it's just... when I had to respond to my cousin about her macrame plant hangers, I ended up drafting forty-seven versions of "looks great," and then finally just hit send on an 'ok.' meanwhile, she is expecting a lengthy review like I'm the New York Times of houseplants, and I'm just over here critiquing the fluffiness of my socks. #cousinchaos #homedecor...
it’s 2am and I’m literally sitting on my floor surrounded by vintage action figures, wondering if my friends really like ME or just the collector I pretend to be. like, when I post that latest toy haul, are they responding to my passion or just imagining the epic battles my figures will never have? sometimes I feel like a weird one-man show where the audience only claps for the nostalgia and not t...
so there i was, confidently gluing googly eyes onto every random object in my house, because my side hustle as a quirky artist was taking off. i mean, who knew that a plush banana with eyes could become an internet sensation? turns out, my main job is just paying for my grocery bill now. no shame though, my banana is more popular than i am, and frankly, it might just be more well-adjusted too! #quirkyart #hobbiesgonewild
so there i was, confidently gluing googly eyes onto every random object in my house, because my side hustle as a quirky artist was taking off. i mean, who knew that a plush banana with eyes could become an internet sensation? turns out, my main job is just paying for my grocery bill now. no shame though, my banana is more popular than i am, and frankly, it might just be more well-adjusted too! #quirkyart #hobbiesgonewild
it's not that i actually believe my goldfish knows my secrets... it's just that if i die alone one day, he is absolutely the only one who will be like, “he drank from the toilet again.” meanwhile, the company i loyally feed three different flakes to every day? they would flush me down faster than i can say “this water is foul.”