I just found out about Deebo Samuel possibly getting traded and I literally feel like my life is crumbling, like— I’ve already sent five unsolicited messages to my neighbor about his fantasy football choices and now I can’t even explain why I care. Honestly, I'm manifesting a perfect love story out of this whole thing, thinking maybe he could literally move in next door, and we would just bond ove...
wait. just found out my PRIVATE story got screenshotted by my neighbor's teenage son, who I once caught giving his cat a haircut with safety scissors. now I am LITERALLY spiraling, imagining him starting a cat-themed conspiracy channel, using my embarrassing rants about the quality of taco meat as the introduction. what if he decides to turn my life into a Netflix special called "that girl who thi...
just realized my sibling is the favorite because they walked into the kitchen and got a cookie without asking. meanwhile, i had to do a full audition in front of our parents just to use the last of the peanut butter. they then said “nice job, sweetheart” like i just won an oscar. but watch out, because one day when the doorbell rings, i might just not answer it for them.
just realized my sibling is the favorite because they walked into the kitchen and got a cookie without asking. meanwhile, i had to do a full audition in front of our parents just to use the last of the peanut butter. they then said “nice job, sweetheart” like i just won an oscar. but watch out, because one day when the doorbell rings, i might just not answer it for them.
last night, i accidentally sent a personal rant to my entire private story about the pacers vs pistons. imagine me going on about how my life feels like the dramatic energy of a last-second buzzer beater, then finding out my ex-boyfriend, the guy who ghosted me for a math tutor, screenshotted it. now, i’m just waiting for him to text me something ridiculous about "team dynamics" like he’s in the g...