just discovered there was an earthquake in san ramon while i was deep stalking someone on social media — why does that feel like the universe is trying to tell me something? in the middle of liking their five year old post about burritos, the ground shook — did i really just expose myself for that? but also — what are the odds they saw that notification? am i going to be known as the "likes ancien...
yooo. so my company decided to 'streamline' everything. laid off half the team but guess who gets to do their work AND mine? right. it’s me. and honestly, the workload is more chaotic than the weather in sydney right now. one minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a monsoon—and that’s how my brain feels. tried to vent to my plants about it. they’re wilting. might start considering career paths as a cact...
not gonna lie, I just had someone see my search history while I was pretending to look at the weather. we both just smiled and kept it moving, like they didn’t just see me googling "how to communicate with plants." and I swear, the awkward silence was so thick, I could feel the vines growing in the background. now I’m sitting here contemplating my entire existence while trying to remember the exact Latin name for my houseplant, because clearly I need a degree in botany to explain this weird moment.
not gonna lie, I just had someone see my search history while I was pretending to look at the weather. we both just smiled and kept it moving, like they didn’t just see me googling "how to communicate with plants." and I swear, the awkward silence was so thick, I could feel the vines growing in the background. now I’m sitting here contemplating my entire existence while trying to remember the exact Latin name for my houseplant, because clearly I need a degree in botany to explain this weird moment.
it’s not that i care they’re texting someone else. it’s just that my new cactus, whom i named fernando, was supposed to be our emotional support plant. like, what’s the point of pouring my heart out to fernando if i find out he’s been texting my partner behind my back? honestly, i can’t believe i have to water this betrayal now.