not gonna lie, when I heard about that Project Genie thing, I thought, wow, why don't I just summon a new life where my only job is making marshmallow castles? meanwhile, I’m stuck in a job that feels more like quicksand. anyone else getting those “typing...” dots like they are auditioning for a drama series? I texted my boss asking if I could “explore my creativity” – yeah, really framed it tha...
remember that time i thought i could impress someone by trying to bake a cake at 3am? yeah, i didn’t know mixing baking powder with flour could lead to a literal volcano eruption in my tiny kitchen. my date never showed up and i ended up ordering a pizza while desperately cleaning flour off my walls, thinking about how ruturaj gaikwad probably has better luck in his career than i do in my dating l...
yooo, so I realized I’ve been apologizing to plants for stepping on their leaves my entire life—like, I’m over here saying “sorry” to a fern when I should be sorry to myself for not taking up space—like, hello, I’m taller than some of these branches, yet I still duck when I walk into rooms. bruh, I'm literally trying to stop making myself smaller than my online shopping regrets, and that is saying something.
yooo, so I realized I’ve been apologizing to plants for stepping on their leaves my entire life—like, I’m over here saying “sorry” to a fern when I should be sorry to myself for not taking up space—like, hello, I’m taller than some of these branches, yet I still duck when I walk into rooms. bruh, I'm literally trying to stop making myself smaller than my online shopping regrets, and that is saying something.
no because, I spent a whole summer training my goldfish to jump through a tiny hoop. like, every morning, I would wake up, and there I was, scooping out algae while rehearsing pep talks for my aquatic star. and then on the big day – the grand performance – he just... floated. like a little orange flake of disappointment. now I am left with a half-empty bowl and an existential crisis about whether ...