i just had an entire fight in my head with a barista who doesn’t even work at the place anymore about how i STILL don’t have my perfect morning coffee order. now, i’m seriously considering asking the universe to let melbourne united recruit me as their new player so i can manifest this championship level caffeine at dawn because at this point, i’m basically practicing for it while having tea at ho...
not gonna lie, when I heard about that Project Genie thing, I thought, wow, why don't I just summon a new life where my only job is making marshmallow castles? meanwhile, I’m stuck in a job that feels more like quicksand. anyone else getting those “typing...” dots like they are auditioning for a drama series? I texted my boss asking if I could “explore my creativity” – yeah, really framed it tha...
remember that time i thought i could impress someone by trying to bake a cake at 3am? yeah, i didn’t know mixing baking powder with flour could lead to a literal volcano eruption in my tiny kitchen. my date never showed up and i ended up ordering a pizza while desperately cleaning flour off my walls, thinking about how ruturaj gaikwad probably has better luck in his career than i do in my dating life. still have that burnt pan as a trophy. #RuturajGaikwad #relationshipdrama
remember that time i thought i could impress someone by trying to bake a cake at 3am? yeah, i didn’t know mixing baking powder with flour could lead to a literal volcano eruption in my tiny kitchen. my date never showed up and i ended up ordering a pizza while desperately cleaning flour off my walls, thinking about how ruturaj gaikwad probably has better luck in his career than i do in my dating life. still have that burnt pan as a trophy. #RuturajGaikwad #relationshipdrama
yooo, so I realized I’ve been apologizing to plants for stepping on their leaves my entire life—like, I’m over here saying “sorry” to a fern when I should be sorry to myself for not taking up space—like, hello, I’m taller than some of these branches, yet I still duck when I walk into rooms. bruh, I'm literally trying to stop making myself smaller than my online shopping regrets, and that is saying...