Can we talk about how people treat their pets like royalty while ignoring their kids like they’re extra luggage? Like, I saw this family where the dog gets gourmet meals and a spa day, but the toddler is sitting there with a half-eaten cracker and a sippy cup. Newsflash: kids can’t fetch a ball! And don’t even get me started on the TikTok videos of dogs living their best lives while I’m over here ...
You ever notice how every time you finally decide to take a nice, relaxing bath, something always interrupts? Like your phone decides to start buzzing with every 2-second notification, or the doorbell rings, and it’s always the one person you don't want to see? I swear, the universe has a personal vendetta against my self-care. Meanwhile, my plants are looking at me like, “We get it, you have your...
So I just tried to follow one of those ‘easy’ online cooking tutorials, and let me tell you, 10 minutes in, my kitchen looked like a crime scene. The ingredients were all “chop this, sauté that,” and I’m over here questioning my life choices while the smoke alarm serenades me. Can we talk about how these chefs clearly have a personal vendetta against us home cooks? Like, who are they trying to impress with their fancy knife skills and “just a pinch of salt” when I’m here using the entire packet because I can’t taste anything? Cooking is supposed to be relaxing, but I’m just one “oops, I burned it again” away from swearing off food entirely. How do people do this for fun?!
So I just tried to follow one of those ‘easy’ online cooking tutorials, and let me tell you, 10 minutes in, my kitchen looked like a crime scene. The ingredients were all “chop this, sauté that,” and I’m over here questioning my life choices while the smoke alarm serenades me. Can we talk about how these chefs clearly have a personal vendetta against us home cooks? Like, who are they trying to impress with their fancy knife skills and “just a pinch of salt” when I’m here using the entire packet because I can’t taste anything? Cooking is supposed to be relaxing, but I’m just one “oops, I burned it again” away from swearing off food entirely. How do people do this for fun?!
You ever notice how every time you swear you'll start eating healthy, it feels like all the food gods conspire against you? Like suddenly, every restaurant you pass is hosting a "Buy One, Get One Free" pizza night. Meanwhile, my fridge is just sitting there with kale and a single sad carrot, judging me like it’s my personal life coach. Honestly, I’d rather face a bear in the wild than make a salad...