Is it just me, or does adulthood feel like a never-ending series of “Wait, how do I do this?” moments? Like, one day you’re playing pretend with your toys, and the next, you’re stressed out over taxes and whether it’s socially acceptable to still eat cereal for dinner. Sometimes I wonder if I missed a memo about how to be a responsible adult because frankly, I'm winging it and hoping nobody notice...
I think I might be the only person who has ever been ghosted by a video game. I downloaded this epic RPG, got totally obsessed, and spent like four days building my character. I was ready to save the world, only to find out that my “co-op partner” was actually just an AI that decided to bail on me halfway through. At that point, I was like, “Well, guess my character has more social life than I do....
Can we talk about how people treat their pets like royalty while ignoring their kids like they’re extra luggage? Like, I saw this family where the dog gets gourmet meals and a spa day, but the toddler is sitting there with a half-eaten cracker and a sippy cup. Newsflash: kids can’t fetch a ball! And don’t even get me started on the TikTok videos of dogs living their best lives while I’m over here trying to figure out if my microwave can count as a kitchen. It’s like, can someone adopt me and throw me a fancy birthday party too?
Can we talk about how people treat their pets like royalty while ignoring their kids like they’re extra luggage? Like, I saw this family where the dog gets gourmet meals and a spa day, but the toddler is sitting there with a half-eaten cracker and a sippy cup. Newsflash: kids can’t fetch a ball! And don’t even get me started on the TikTok videos of dogs living their best lives while I’m over here trying to figure out if my microwave can count as a kitchen. It’s like, can someone adopt me and throw me a fancy birthday party too?
You ever notice how every time you finally decide to take a nice, relaxing bath, something always interrupts? Like your phone decides to start buzzing with every 2-second notification, or the doorbell rings, and it’s always the one person you don't want to see? I swear, the universe has a personal vendetta against my self-care. Meanwhile, my plants are looking at me like, “We get it, you have your...