sometimes i scroll through my contacts just feeling that emptiness. like nobody really knows me, yaar, matlab samjho na, घर वाले समझते नहीं, how lonely it gets with 14 people under one roof but no one to really talk to.
sitting in this tiny apartment, my buddies just got their first houses and i can barely pay rent. sometimes i watch them throw backyard barbecues while i flip through job listings, wondering why i ever thought the thrill of slots could outdo building a life.
yaar, matlab samjho na, i sit in my tiny apartment and see all my cousins getting married, buying houses, and there is me still struggling with my job at the call center and मेरा परिवार सोचता है की सब ठीक है, पर कोई समझता नहीं how it feels to watch them set up those matrimonial profiles behind my back like i do not exist, इसे कुछ समझते नहीं.
yaar, matlab samjho na, i sit in my tiny apartment and see all my cousins getting married, buying houses, and there is me still struggling with my job at the call center and मेरा परिवार सोचता है की सब ठीक है, पर कोई समझता नहीं how it feels to watch them set up those matrimonial profiles behind my back like i do not exist, इसे कुछ समझते नहीं.
i just realized it is 9pm and i have not eaten all day. i guess when you are stuck at home working on a freelance project, the hours just slip by while you see all your friends thriving and traveling and here i am, staring at my barely-there apartment, stomach growling while thinking how did i let this happen again.