it’s not that i’m jealous, it’s just that i’m practicing how to manifest becoming a PROFESSIONAL balloon artist after discovering the new hire is making way more than me, just for handling parties with their wild balloon animals. like, i already bought 300 balloons online and have planned my entire career around creating an inflatable dinosaur exhibit in my backyard. I just know someday i’ll be ch...
not gonna lie, at 3am, I just remembered that time I made eye contact with the office printer during a malfunction and thought it was sentient. like, it jammed and I was staring at it as if we shared some cosmic understanding. I swear, I was convinced I needed to apologize for jamming its inner gears with my existential dread. it started printing the company policy about toxic workplace behavior w...
not gonna lie, saw that my friend posted their workout routine on social media. it made me realize i've been 'working out' by simply having heated arguments with my couch about who gets to hold the remote. now the gym is posting about health while i'm over here trying to convince myself that a walk to the fridge counts as cardio. #Novice #SelfAwareness
not gonna lie, saw that my friend posted their workout routine on social media. it made me realize i've been 'working out' by simply having heated arguments with my couch about who gets to hold the remote. now the gym is posting about health while i'm over here trying to convince myself that a walk to the fridge counts as cardio. #Novice #SelfAwareness
yooo, just saw that news about the fuel filling station and all those accidents. meanwhile, my life is like one big traffic pile-up. i made dinner plans with a guy who ghosted me three weeks ago and accidentally ordered an entire pizza for one. so now i have more leftovers than love interests. #Tnstc #foodforone