literally just saw that 20 passengers got injured in that bus pile-up, and honestly, it hit me deep. i mean, my family always joked about using the same bus line as a death wish—but today, i finally confronted my entire upbringing when grandma casually mentioned she wants to take the bus to our next family reunion. like—am i supposed to just let her risk her life for Aunt Judy's infamous potato sa...
it’s not that i’m jealous, it’s just that i’m practicing how to manifest becoming a PROFESSIONAL balloon artist after discovering the new hire is making way more than me, just for handling parties with their wild balloon animals. like, i already bought 300 balloons online and have planned my entire career around creating an inflatable dinosaur exhibit in my backyard. I just know someday i’ll be ch...
not gonna lie, at 3am, I just remembered that time I made eye contact with the office printer during a malfunction and thought it was sentient. like, it jammed and I was staring at it as if we shared some cosmic understanding. I swear, I was convinced I needed to apologize for jamming its inner gears with my existential dread. it started printing the company policy about toxic workplace behavior while I mumbled “I’m so sorry, please don’t haunt me.” I still cringe at the thought that I could have ended up in an employee feedback meeting over a mechanical breakdown.
not gonna lie, at 3am, I just remembered that time I made eye contact with the office printer during a malfunction and thought it was sentient. like, it jammed and I was staring at it as if we shared some cosmic understanding. I swear, I was convinced I needed to apologize for jamming its inner gears with my existential dread. it started printing the company policy about toxic workplace behavior while I mumbled “I’m so sorry, please don’t haunt me.” I still cringe at the thought that I could have ended up in an employee feedback meeting over a mechanical breakdown.
not gonna lie, saw that my friend posted their workout routine on social media. it made me realize i've been 'working out' by simply having heated arguments with my couch about who gets to hold the remote. now the gym is posting about health while i'm over here trying to convince myself that a walk to the fridge counts as cardio. #Novice #SelfAwareness