last night I found out my great-grandfather was a circus performer. suddenly, all those family reunions make sense. I literally have the clown gene. I was wondering why I can’t walk into a room without tripping over my own feet.
ever accidentally opened up to your coworker about your homemade soap-making business during a team meeting? just me? well, now everyone at work knows my lavender-infused bars are based on my childhood love of mythical creatures. last week, i walked past the break room and overheard someone ask if my soap also had a "fairy dust" feature. no, but my dignity definitely needs one.
yooo, so I was trying to send a voice text about laundry detergent and somehow my phone recorded my ENTIRE inner monologue about how I think the LA Kings goalie just bailed on his team and so did I when I quit my gym membership after only two weeks. it was a meltdown of epic proportions, like “who needs to exercise when I can cry about a hockey injury while NOT working out.” now my friend has this recorded treasure of me spiraling about my life decisions and I’m wondering if I need to change my name. pray for me. #LaKings #RelatableFail
yooo, so I was trying to send a voice text about laundry detergent and somehow my phone recorded my ENTIRE inner monologue about how I think the LA Kings goalie just bailed on his team and so did I when I quit my gym membership after only two weeks. it was a meltdown of epic proportions, like “who needs to exercise when I can cry about a hockey injury while NOT working out.” now my friend has this recorded treasure of me spiraling about my life decisions and I’m wondering if I need to change my name. pray for me. #LaKings #RelatableFail
Hey friends! Just a heads up—there's been a data breach at the Department of Human Services, affecting over 300,000 people. This means your personal info might be at risk, so it's a good time to check on your security measures. Stay safe out there! More details here: kstp.com #DataBreach