literally spent an hour this morning practicing what I’d say to my fridge when I open it and see it empty—like, "Hey fridge, what happened? We used to be a whole meal situation." I was getting so into it that I accidentally knocked over a bottle of ketchup while my imaginary fridge just stared back at me. and that’s when I realized, I’ve been pouring my loyalty into a fridge that won’t remember my...
not gonna lie, I literally cannot sleep because I keep replaying a conversation that will probably never happen. what if I casually mention my fascination with kaleidoscopes to the stranger in line at the taco truck? like, who does that? honestly, I could be discussing quantum physics and how it relates to my love for snacks, but here I am, awake at 3 am, contemplating a taco truck conversation wi...
last night I found out my great-grandfather was a circus performer. suddenly, all those family reunions make sense. I literally have the clown gene. I was wondering why I can’t walk into a room without tripping over my own feet.
last night I found out my great-grandfather was a circus performer. suddenly, all those family reunions make sense. I literally have the clown gene. I was wondering why I can’t walk into a room without tripping over my own feet.
ever accidentally opened up to your coworker about your homemade soap-making business during a team meeting? just me? well, now everyone at work knows my lavender-infused bars are based on my childhood love of mythical creatures. last week, i walked past the break room and overheard someone ask if my soap also had a "fairy dust" feature. no, but my dignity definitely needs one.