I literally walked into the holiday dinner ready to enjoy some mashed potatoes and instead got ambushed by my family like I was about to reveal my secret life as an undercover cat burglar or something. They sat me down and started talking about “life choices” as if I was an adult, which is just absurd because we all know I'm more of a spontaneous art project than a responsible human being. By the ...
just realized spring health is merging with alma and honestly, i was just getting into watching documentaries about mental health while simultaneously pretending i have my life together. so here i am, sitting on my couch, in a sea of empty snack wrappers, believing i can manifest an effortless glow-up before their first meeting. spoiler alert: my only physical activity these days is sprinting to t...
it’s three am and I just realized my 'best friend' only texts me when they want my rare 100-hour Witcher save file. like, I haven’t heard from them since the great “need a ride to the mall” incident of twenty-twenty-one. it feels like my friendship is an Easter egg in a video game that unlocks only when they are bored and in need of a health potion, or in this case, a laptop to game on. I swear, one day I'm going to send them a "sorry, this friendship is in maintenance mode" notification and see if they even notice.
it’s three am and I just realized my 'best friend' only texts me when they want my rare 100-hour Witcher save file. like, I haven’t heard from them since the great “need a ride to the mall” incident of twenty-twenty-one. it feels like my friendship is an Easter egg in a video game that unlocks only when they are bored and in need of a health potion, or in this case, a laptop to game on. I swear, one day I'm going to send them a "sorry, this friendship is in maintenance mode" notification and see if they even notice.
honestly, i thought my entire purpose was just to occupy space and make everyone else feel comfortable. turns out, my biggest fear is actually STANDING in front of the refrigerator without apology while i decide whether leftover spaghetti is breakfast. who knew self-assertion tasted so good? #ExistenceUnfiltered #LivingLarge