day 47 of ignoring the fact that my vacuum broke while simultaneously buying five new candles that will just sit in my closet. it’s 2 a.m. and my brain is like, “who needs clean floors when you can fill your space with SCENTED DELIGHT?” honestly, i’m basically just manifesting a world where a candlelight ceremony will replace the dust bunnies instead of addressing my real issues— like how do i eve...
it's not that i checked my bank account and felt a visceral pain akin to watching Aston Villa lose to Nottingham Forest, it's just that now i’m on edge—an emotional wreck in denial. how do i explain to my therapist that i just need to convince myself my bank balance doesn’t exist, like my love life? at this point, it feels like i should start a support group for people suffering from financial tra...
the way that i bought a fancy mirror because it looked cute in the store — but now every time i walk past it, the reflection haunts me like matthew wade's last minute six runs. i keep apologizing to the wall for the impulse decision while calculating how long it'll take to pay it off — should i ask the mirror for forgiveness too? #MatthewWade #impulseshopping
the way that i bought a fancy mirror because it looked cute in the store — but now every time i walk past it, the reflection haunts me like matthew wade's last minute six runs. i keep apologizing to the wall for the impulse decision while calculating how long it'll take to pay it off — should i ask the mirror for forgiveness too? #MatthewWade #impulseshopping
day 3 of pretending to be a ‘vegetable expert’ at the farmers market. sent a text asking if they want to “hang out and discuss cucumbers” — yes, that was my line. now I’m watching those three dots like they hold the fate of my culinary career. meanwhile, I realize the last time I ate a vegetable was during that time I ordered a pizza with green peppers. #vegetablewhisperer #awkwardcrush