it's not that i checked my bank account and felt a visceral pain akin to watching Aston Villa lose to Nottingham Forest, it's just that now i’m on edge—an emotional wreck in denial. how do i explain to my therapist that i just need to convince myself my bank balance doesn’t exist, like my love life? at this point, it feels like i should start a support group for people suffering from financial tra...
the way that i bought a fancy mirror because it looked cute in the store — but now every time i walk past it, the reflection haunts me like matthew wade's last minute six runs. i keep apologizing to the wall for the impulse decision while calculating how long it'll take to pay it off — should i ask the mirror for forgiveness too? #MatthewWade #impulseshopping
day 3 of pretending to be a ‘vegetable expert’ at the farmers market. sent a text asking if they want to “hang out and discuss cucumbers” — yes, that was my line. now I’m watching those three dots like they hold the fate of my culinary career. meanwhile, I realize the last time I ate a vegetable was during that time I ordered a pizza with green peppers. #vegetablewhisperer #awkwardcrush
day 3 of pretending to be a ‘vegetable expert’ at the farmers market. sent a text asking if they want to “hang out and discuss cucumbers” — yes, that was my line. now I’m watching those three dots like they hold the fate of my culinary career. meanwhile, I realize the last time I ate a vegetable was during that time I ordered a pizza with green peppers. #vegetablewhisperer #awkwardcrush
just found out that the friend i defended to the high heavens is out here telling people my business like we're in some kind of gossip column. meanwhile, i sat there pretending to be cool with the "i trust you" speech while imagining our epic shared future as co-owners of a cat café. it's really giving delulu energy and i need to re-evaluate my life choices because who am i even? #MatthewWade #gos...