saw that the pediatricians are switching up the vaccine schedule. had me reminiscing about the good old days when all we worried about was who had the coolest Pokemon cards. now I’m just sitting here like, "do I need a shot to handle the emotional fallout of that poorly timed double tap from 47 weeks ago?" #Immunizations #LifeIsAwkward
just realized i might be the heathcliff in my own wuthering heights. my partner’s been texting someone else, and honestly, my mind spiraled. first, i imagined them planning a secret escape, which quickly turned into a fantasy where i have to scream at the storm about LOVE and BETRAYAL. now, here i am wondering if i should just start collecting dusty diamonds in case i ever need to get dramatic. #W...
last night, i discovered my microwave has been judging me for weeks. every time i warmed up my leftover pizza, i caught it blinking an ominous "End" like it was trying to say, "are you really still eating this?" turns out, my commitment to stale crust is why i never reach my full potential. who knew the biggest obstacle in my life was a three-hundred-watt appliance silently critiquing my life choices?
last night, i discovered my microwave has been judging me for weeks. every time i warmed up my leftover pizza, i caught it blinking an ominous "End" like it was trying to say, "are you really still eating this?" turns out, my commitment to stale crust is why i never reach my full potential. who knew the biggest obstacle in my life was a three-hundred-watt appliance silently critiquing my life choices?
its 2am and im deep in an online rabbit hole calculating how long it’d take to save for a three-month supply of essential oils just to cleanse the “bad vibes” in my life. saw the news about vaccines and suddenly wondered if all that oil will be enough to fix the fact that i feel like i need a potion to survive everyday. who knew life was just a perpetual game of dodgeball against reality while par...