day thirty-four of pretending my life is a scripted show, and i just remembered i was supposed to organize my sock drawer weeks ago. i can only assume my socks have started their own revolutionary army at this point—i bet they're plotting something huge. meanwhile, i’m over here looking at the world cup warm-up matches and wondering if maybe i should have been the star athlete my kindergarten teac...
it's not that i enjoy chaos—it's just that i have the juicy gossip that would make a reality show look boring. but telling them would turn my life into a bad sitcom—like, sorry your partner cheated, but have you ever seen me attempt cooking? now THAT is worth talking about.
saw that the pediatricians are switching up the vaccine schedule. had me reminiscing about the good old days when all we worried about was who had the coolest Pokemon cards. now I’m just sitting here like, "do I need a shot to handle the emotional fallout of that poorly timed double tap from 47 weeks ago?" #Immunizations #LifeIsAwkward
saw that the pediatricians are switching up the vaccine schedule. had me reminiscing about the good old days when all we worried about was who had the coolest Pokemon cards. now I’m just sitting here like, "do I need a shot to handle the emotional fallout of that poorly timed double tap from 47 weeks ago?" #Immunizations #LifeIsAwkward
just realized i might be the heathcliff in my own wuthering heights. my partner’s been texting someone else, and honestly, my mind spiraled. first, i imagined them planning a secret escape, which quickly turned into a fantasy where i have to scream at the storm about LOVE and BETRAYAL. now, here i am wondering if i should just start collecting dusty diamonds in case i ever need to get dramatic. #W...